It’s So Cold That…

18 01 2012

After the warmest December and early January in memory, winter has arrived with a vengeance in E-Ville, with temperatures in the -30’s and windchills between -40 and -50 (Celsius, not that it matters much when it’s this cold). Being a winter city, E-Ville doesn’t shut down for cold or snow, and even though it’s a shock to the system, I still have to get to work somehow, despite the fact that it’s so cold.

It’s so cold that all the grease in Globe froze solid after I left it outside, and I could barely ride or steer it. Luckily, Porta-Bike was still indoors after Xmas undecorating, so I had an option that still had moving bearings.

It’s so cold that my fully-charged light’s low battery indicator came on after 10 minutes. It’s supposed to last 8 hours at that setting.

It’s so cold that exposed skin freezes in under 10 minutes. My commute is 40 minutes. As long as I’m well dressed and can keep the blood pumping, I can avoid frostbite.

It’s so cold that frost rapidly creeps into my extremities every time I stop riding, and a red light was enough for my feet to start going numb.

It’s so cold that breath sublimated in the hair causes a peripheral vision white-out.

It’s so cold that it takes 30 minutes to dress because of all the layers, and one day’s worth of clothes completely fills the laundry hamper.

It’s so cold that my eyelashes start freezing together after less than 5 minutes of riding.

It’s so cold that if you spill your coffee outside, it could bounce back.

It’s so cold that neither my camera nor my exposed fingers will work for more than a minute outside their cases, so the above picture is the only one you get.

It’s so cold that when I take off my mitt outside, steam comes out.

It’s so cold that even the hardy people born & raised here are complaining.

It’s so cold that this entire post was written without hyperbole.

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