It’s so cold that all the grease in Globe froze solid after I left it outside, and I could barely ride or steer it. Luckily, Porta-Bike was still indoors after Xmas undecorating, so I had an option that still had moving bearings.

It’s so cold that my fully-charged light’s low battery indicator came on after 10 minutes. It’s supposed to last 8 hours at that setting.

It’s so cold that exposed skin freezes in under 10 minutes. My commute is 40 minutes. As long as I’m well dressed and can keep the blood pumping, I can avoid frostbite.

It’s so cold that frost rapidly creeps into my extremities every time I stop riding, and a red light was enough for my feet to start going numb.

It's so cold that breath sublimated in the hair causes a peripheral vision white-out.

It’s so cold that it takes 30 minutes to dress because of all the layers, and one day’s worth of clothes completely fills the laundry hamper.

It’s so cold that my eyelashes start freezing together after less than 5 minutes of riding.

It’s so cold that if you spill your coffee outside, it could bounce back.

It’s so cold that neither my camera nor my exposed fingers will work for more than a minute outside their cases, so the above picture is the only one you get.

It’s so cold that when I take off my mitt outside, steam comes out.

It’s so cold that even the hardy people born & raised here are complaining.

It’s so cold that this entire post was written without hyperbole.

Gifts for my parents, brothers, and sister in law - check. Vegan main dish and snacks for the only non-carnivore in the family - check. Sleigh bells to alert me to load slippage and to act as talisman against highway grinches - check.

There’s no bike infrastructure connecting E-ville with my folks’ town, so my route choices are: freeway, highway through stinky industrial area known as refinery row, super-busy highway and freeway that doesn’t directly connect but spits you out on shoulderless country roads where people drive like it’s a freeway. I took option  #1 – the direct freeway. At least the shoulders were wide, there wasn’t much sand and ice, and the holiday traffic was light. It’s not exactly the scenic route, though.

Expansive scenic views from the freeway.

Funny how the closest I got to a white bikey Xmas this year was a pic on a gift card.

After I stopped to take the above picture, my gloves were so soaked with perspiration that I had trouble getting them back on. Thinking temperatures would drop as I left the city, I had completely overdressed, and was so sweaty when I arrived that my mom asked if I needed a shower.

It was difficult enough to not let the parents insist upon picking me up instead of me riding out for Xmas, and I knew that my worried mom would not let me ride home after dark. Once it started raining, there was no question, so at the end of the evening we loaded the bike into the freshly washed pickup (first time dad’s ever washed the truck on Xmas!), and my mom drove me home through the Xmas rain.

P.S. My dad would like to claim responsibility for the unseasonably warm weather, as he bought a new snowblower after the first (and only) cold snap we’ve had so far this winter. By this logic, he is also responsible for the rain, being caused by the washing of the truck.

Back at home, Squeeks amused herself with the bells on Porta-Bike.

The rain made the wooden bridge shine.

It started to rain just as I left (and December rain in E-Ville is always freezing rain), which soon turned to sleet, which greased up any exposed asphalt and made me second guess whether I should be joy riding in the valley (on a single speed foldie no less) on such a night.

Things started getting dicey after this picture was taken.

I’ve said it many times – freezing rain is my least favorite riding condition – specifically, when freezing rain forms a very thin but effective coating on hard surfaces that renders tire studs useless. As I rolled over the black roads and paths, I could feel my back tire slipping back and forth, and hoped I wouldn’t have to try to stop, because I doubted if I could and still remain upright.

Once I got into the shaded ravine where the trees protected the last snow we had from disappearing, the freezing precipitation formed a hard crust that my studded tires easily bit into, creating perfect traction. If I had been walking, it would’ve been a much different story.

The sepia glow of darkness in a city lit with sodium streetlights.

Through the night, the rain turned to  snow, and I awakened on the shortest day to the sun reflecting off a blinding white landscape. And even though the worst of winter still lays ahead, I can at least look forward to every day being a little bit brighter.

Jingle Ride!

Wednesday December 14th

It starts at 6:00 at EBC (10043 – 80 Ave – back alley entrance) with a quick winter cycling skillshare, then at 6:30 we leave for a fairly easy ride to check out some notable Xmas light displays.

You can be sure this house is on the must-see list.

We’ll make several stops, and eventually end up at the legislative grounds to go for a little skate. Holiday cheer (especially in warm beverage form) and bicycle decorations are encouraged, and I’m totally jumping on this opportunity to legitimately light my bike up like an Xmas tree and deck it out so the rattling of potholes turns into sleigh bell music.

Porta-Bike will be at the ride, with bells on!

Alas, my bike awaits the rest of the decorations in my living room. My parents were here last night and thought I’d flipped, decorating a bike instead of a tree. Of course, Porta-Bike’s a working bike, and won’t stay inside for long. But now that I think about it, I wasn’t planning on getting a tree anyway, and since I’ve got other bikes that won’t be doing anything ’til spring anyway, maybe decorating a bike for the holidays isn’t the craziest idea in the world…

Today, I got an answer on 76 Ave.

And it looks like "dump the snow in the bike lane" is winning.

I can’t say I’m surprised. The counter-flow lanes in Garneau have also been (not) maintained this way in the winter since they’ve been put in, and it’s been my practice to just ignore them once the snow flies. Especially because once the road markings are covered, drivers have no reason to expect to see cyclists coming the wrong way down a one-way street. Still, I’m disappointed.

Even more disappointing, I hear that the city is putting funding for clearing the multi-use pathways (which they do a fairly decent job at) on the chopping block, as well as funding for any new bicycle and active transportation infrastructure. If this seems as counter-productive to you as it does to me, let the mayor and your councilor know before Dec 9th!

Mid afternoon, -20C, sun is low, not a cloud in the sky.

The equipment needed for enjoying such a day is simple: warm clothing (with a sleeve big enough to keep my P&S camera warm) and studded tires to navigate the snow that’s been packed down solid and polished to ice.

The only 20" studded tires you'll ever see are DIY. Edit - apparently Schwalbe makes 20" studded tires, but DIY is the only way I've seen metal on a 20.

Sudden cold snaps in November also make for slow days at the bike shop, leaving time for Porta-Bike pampering. After taking these pictures, I overhauled its bottom bracket and coaster hub. The best part was finally finding the proper cotter pin for the left crank. In the picture below, you can see that the cranks are not aligned 180 degrees from each other, but I am proud to say that now, for the first time since I cobbled this bike together, the cranks are perfectly aligned. Additionally, the rubber plug I made last year for the bottom bracket hole seems to be working well, and the old grease was still pretty clean.

Polar Porta Bike - now pronounced with a preceding kazoo flourish.

At least this first wintery blast didn’t last long, and it’s made the last few days, with their average, near freezing temperatures, seem balmy in comparison.

Cold sun.

I’ve been helping out a lot of other people get into winter cycling lately, but I’ve also become increasingly disconnected with some of my fellow citizens. Cycling year round is  normal to me. Spending time outside, no matter what the weather, is normal to me. So I’m finding it difficult to understand how someone can live their life in a winter city and feel entitled to a 21 degree, climate enclosed shell 24-7, and balk and complain should they ever have to feel the wind for thirty seconds because of the absence of indoor parking. These are the same folks that tell me it’s impossible to ride my bike in the winter (or for transportation, period) despite the fact that I”m successfully doing it, and have been doing long enough that the incomprehension now runs both ways.

And the Polar Porta-Bike.

Porta-Bike, where the bike path runs along the LRT tracks. And see - a train!

I put the studded tires on last weekend because of the threat of freezing rain, but on Monday morning it felt like overkill as I plodded into work on the clear & dry streets. An unexpected snow storm (ha! – like you wouldn’t expect a November snow storm in E-Ville) descended on the city by evening, turning the streets into an Ice Capades Demolition Derby. On my little winter special though, I was the most stable vehicle on the road, further insulated by a thin layer of smugness.

This year set a record for the latest first snow of the season, and it was almost like everyone (myself included) were just hoping it wouldn’t snow at all this year. That would’ve been nice, but back in reality, riding single speed foldies through snowy winter wonderland Mill Creek Ravine after dark is pretty nice too.

A promising sign.

Every now and then the city completely closes down a major thoroughfare into central E-Ville for the summer, for paving, widening, revamping, and the creation of a 5 month long traffic jam. Not that I took that much notice, easily bypassing the resulting mess every day on my bike, but I was keeping my eye on this particular road, and when I heard it was about to re-open, I knew it was time for action.

It's all downhill from here...

As well as being a major artery, Scona Road is also a long hill that goes all the way down into the valley that bisects otherwise flat Edmonton. So what do you do when presented with a wide, empty, freshly paved street on an epic hill? You get some friends and some bikes and let gravity do the rest!

Holy crap! I'm rolling down the hill at alarming speed, trying not to scream, holding on with one hand while the other tries stay steady to take an action shot!

We weren’t the only ones marking Scona Road and 99th Street’s last night of being car-free, though. There was the odd pedestrian walking in the middle of the road, a guy walking his dog who stopped to chat, and a group of about 10 longboarders taking advantage of some of the best hill bombing of the season.

Longboarders meet cyclists.

The first time we went down, we ended up in oncoming traffic on an open road in the maze of interchanges at the bottom of the hill. The second time, we followed the longboarders down a safer route that went under the James MacDonald bridge. They had moved some of the road closed signs for an easier path, but seeing some of them fearlessly duck under the barricades at high speed like it was nothing made it look unnecessary for them.

The other part of hill bombing is increasing potential energy (going back up). These guys were making pretty good time.

Riding back up the hill wasn’t that bad, with the fresh pavement and the lack of car exhaust to choke on, plus it was a great way to warm up on a chilly night.

Panda action on a wide open & gleaming new 99 St.

I ended my night rosy cheeked and glowing from the rush of the hill bomb and the push of the hill climbs. If only there could be Scona bombing every Saturday night.

Also, check out my favorite reporter’s account of the evening’s adventures on Gig City.

Time out by the tamaracks.

Rainy days don't get me down.

Wheee! Zooming down a hill!

Marjory, you were a damn fine bike.

I already miss this bike a lot. There is a silver lining, though. It appears that I’ll be able to fix her, I’ll just need to find a new (to her) fork and probably a front fender. So the hunt is on. This is a fairly common style & color of bike, and EBC actually scrapped a very similar frame days before my accident, so I know there’s potential for one showing up. If I find a similar frame in a different color, I may just transfer the wheels and other upgrades onto it. Either way, it’s a winter project now.

Some way, some how, Marjory will be reborn. Good bikes never die.

P.S. In case you’re wondering, I’m pretty much recovered from the crash, and am back to my usual level of crankiness (pun intended).